Best Year Starts Today - I Have News
I had a baby. In November 2020, I decided to take the biggest leap of my life and have a baby on my own. If you've seen "Friends", you may remember the scene where Rachel realizes that if she wants to get married and have a baby within a reasonable timeframe, she would have to meet the love of her life the very next day. That scene played in my mind when I realized that my original plan—meeting a great guy, getting married, and then waiting a year or two before starting a family—wasn't realistic. My biological clock was ticking.
In 2021 I bought my townhouse, the first place I lived in for more than year since I was 18 years old.
I made a quick pivot: I assessed my finances, purchased a townhouse, and reached out to a fertility clinic to begin the process. As much as you may try to prepare for any obstacles that come your way, having a baby is ultimately beyond your control. I really thought it would take a few months, or at most a year, to get pregnant. Three years later, I finally succeeded. There’s a long story behind that journey, but that’s a blog post for another day.
For three years, my life felt like it was on hold and stuck in a loop. Every month, I would take a pregnancy test, and every time, it would be negative. There was no pause or time to catch my breath. As soon as I realized I wasn't pregnant, I would contact the clinic, and we would start the entire process over again—medication, ultrasounds, acupuncture, and so on.
Throughout this process, my body changed dramatically. I felt nauseous and fatigued, both mentally and physically. I don't have any regrets; these are just the facts of the journey. It was all worth it.
Now, here I am, a mom to a 6-month-old, trying to get my life back on track. I don’t yearn for the days before pregnancy; I was ready to start my next chapter.
This year will be the first time in four years that I have the capacity to think about the parts of my life that I let slip away while focusing on becoming pregnant. But I am trying to understand why I feel the need to jump to the next phase. There’s this need to bounce back, but I realize now that I need to take things a little slower. And thats ok. This is really the best year and if it starts today, then I want to enjoy it.